How do I change my mind?
Well, Tom. As crazy as it sounds it simply means to close your eyes and, on the canvas of your mind, draw the way you want the world to be. And then believe in it, to the exclusion of all other possibilities. Not in the accidental and half-hearted way we do when we make wrong. But do it clearly, consciously and in a controlled way.
That sounds difficult you say, but we do it all of the time. We should and ought to, all the time. We get upset while we are driving because someone cuts us off and we say that should not have happened. We are denying reality. We are saying that the way it is, is not the way it should be.
But the big place where we do this is in relationships, with ourselves and others. We make judgements about how we or they ought to be and then make ourselves or them wrong. We do this all the time. I should earn more money, I should get more exercise, I should weigh less, I should be a better husband/wife. She should clean the house better, he should fix the leaky tap, I should drive better/safer/faster/slower/more carefully, ETC, ETC. But we do this thinking in a way that has the situation be wrong. We make judgements and have it that it that this is the way it is but that it is wrong.
And here is the $20,000,000 Dollar question. What if we did it another way? What if we did it in a way that works? This is where science research is heading in some startling and confusing new directions.
Neurological and endocrine research is starting to show that managing a positive thought increases our health levels. Our immune and metabolism both increase. Physics research is showing that a controlled and concentrated thought has an affect at a microscopic level, and our cells and metabolism are microscopic. However that thought, needs to be created and managed in such a way as to not cause mental conflict or confusion. Those thoughts require support and attention, and need to be constructed in such a way that we can be grateful for the reality that they represent. Then we need to keep the thought and the gratitude for the reality that they represent in the forefront of our minds.
So let’s walk through the creation of one of these thoughts.
My height is 178CM and I weigh 84KG. Everyone tells me that for my height and build that I am overweight and need to exercise. I am middle aged and not that active. Now here is where we have some choices. Do I believe all the external voices that there is something wrong with me? I like to have a coffee in the morning, good or bad? I enjoy lying around reading, good or bad? We ask these and other questions to ourselves 20 times a minute. We see some external stimulus and question ourselves. A TV ad, a billboard, a bus stop poster, a magazine. STOP, Stop, STOP, stop, STOP.
What happened to the new thought? Right! What happened to changing our mind! See how easy it is to get sidetracked and distracted from the idea.
OK, number 2 attempt.
I close my eyes and create a new image of myself.
What weight am I? Well in my mind, here, I weigh 67KG.
How am I dressed? Well, in a pair of sports shorts, T-shirt and joggers.
Why? Because I am out with friends at a game of volleyball.
What am I doing? Well, it is half time and we are sitting around having a drink and laughing.
How do I feel? I feel great. We are all a bit sweaty and talking about saunas and how we would like to try one. It is a boy’s night out so we are just being silly and having fun.
How do I feel about me? Well, actually I feel great. I have lost a lot of weight and I get to socialize here and meet new friends, in fact a guy on one of the teams is trying to headhunt me for a new job. He thinks I could earn more with them and enjoy work more.
How has this affected my home life? The wife and I get along great, I feel better than I have for years and we are dancing a bit and the private life has gotten more active, we even share more work around the house and are getting some of those old jobs done. I even have enough energy to spend more time with the kids.
What about work? My boss seems happier with me because when I have problems at work I talk it over with the guys and I have implemented some really effective ways of dealing with issues, ideas from the other guys in the team.
What about food? Eating is different now, I tend to eat more what I enjoy, and that helps me feel good about myself. I found a nutritionist who has explained to me why some food does not work and now I just avoid that. But I still get to have really good fun eating.
See How I am constructing thoughts around feeling fit and healthy and that it has a positive impact on my life and family. I can close my eyes at any time and recreate this reality and feel grateful and happy about the changes I have made in my life. I can also own this. I created it and I enjoy volleyball. I would enjoy being a part of a master’s team who play on a regular basis. It would be nice to socialise away from work and the constraints of the family.
Now come the second important part.
I need to start behaving as if this reality is true. I need to find a volleyball court and join. I need to find a nutritionist to learn about a healthy eating pattern and what food works o does not work for me.
I need to behave as if I have already lost that weight. I need to be active around the house and start to watch television less and spend more time having fun with my wife.
I am going to behave as if I weigh 67KG. I am going to behave as if I am fit and active now. All of this is going to happen because of a thought that I create and manage in my own mind.
We can do this at anytime about anything. Relationships, work, weight, exercise, family. Create a new thought, change your mind and then live as if this is true.
You can do it!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Diets and exercise
So, today I got this email, and it asked me if this stuff is really true? And does it apply to exercise?
Well Jan, to put it simply and at it's most basic. It applies to everything. It applies to weight loss, fitness, exercise, study, motivation, and competition. It applies to raising children and fixing cars. It applies to cooking and design.
If your first thought is that something is wrong then the outcome is assured. If you are having friends over for dinner and you start cooking, being sure that you are a hopeless cook and that everything will taste awful, then the chances are high that, that is what will happen. If you start to go to the gym to get fit, and you are that you are unfit and wrong then the chances are high that you will quit before making any change. If you study for an exam, being sure that you are stupid and will fail the exam, you probably will fail.
If we start from the point of being wrong or bad or are a failure, the outcome is failure. And this applies to everything. It even applies to relationships. If you are in a relationship where you continually make your partner wrong, they will resist. They will argue, fight, leave or make you wrong.
Until I understood this my wife and I fought all of the time. I would have it that what she was doing was wrong. And I would yell and stomp and shout and generally complain. (I do this a lot, you get that don't you). And she will resist. She will change the subject or walk away or argue with me. And it all comes from how I treat her.
When I treat her as if she is my queen and beautiful? When I act as if she is smart and intelligent? Then she responds to that thought. If I behave in such a way, as to show her that I believe that she is perfect, then that becomes our reality. And I no longer have anything to complain about and she does not resist.
Now, we are both human and we regularly realize that we have fallen back and have to change our mind again. But for the last seven years, and we have been married for several more years than that, I have been married to my girlfriend. I do my best to always act as if this is true. And if I fail, I do not make myself guilty or wrong or bad. I simply get that I have fallen over, I clean up with my girlfriend, apologise and move on. Sometimes this is not easy, sometimes it is very hard. But I persist because for me she IS the perfect person.
The longer I hold that line, the truer it becomes for me. Whenever I change my mind, a little bit of the old thought gets lost.
Well Jan, to put it simply and at it's most basic. It applies to everything. It applies to weight loss, fitness, exercise, study, motivation, and competition. It applies to raising children and fixing cars. It applies to cooking and design.
If your first thought is that something is wrong then the outcome is assured. If you are having friends over for dinner and you start cooking, being sure that you are a hopeless cook and that everything will taste awful, then the chances are high that, that is what will happen. If you start to go to the gym to get fit, and you are that you are unfit and wrong then the chances are high that you will quit before making any change. If you study for an exam, being sure that you are stupid and will fail the exam, you probably will fail.
If we start from the point of being wrong or bad or are a failure, the outcome is failure. And this applies to everything. It even applies to relationships. If you are in a relationship where you continually make your partner wrong, they will resist. They will argue, fight, leave or make you wrong.
Until I understood this my wife and I fought all of the time. I would have it that what she was doing was wrong. And I would yell and stomp and shout and generally complain. (I do this a lot, you get that don't you). And she will resist. She will change the subject or walk away or argue with me. And it all comes from how I treat her.
When I treat her as if she is my queen and beautiful? When I act as if she is smart and intelligent? Then she responds to that thought. If I behave in such a way, as to show her that I believe that she is perfect, then that becomes our reality. And I no longer have anything to complain about and she does not resist.
Now, we are both human and we regularly realize that we have fallen back and have to change our mind again. But for the last seven years, and we have been married for several more years than that, I have been married to my girlfriend. I do my best to always act as if this is true. And if I fail, I do not make myself guilty or wrong or bad. I simply get that I have fallen over, I clean up with my girlfriend, apologise and move on. Sometimes this is not easy, sometimes it is very hard. But I persist because for me she IS the perfect person.
The longer I hold that line, the truer it becomes for me. Whenever I change my mind, a little bit of the old thought gets lost.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Let Food be your medicine!
One of my favourite quotes is several thousand years old and comes to us from the "father" of modern medicine. It simply states "let food be your medicine." I think it is a great quote because it points to 2 things that are really important.
Firstly; is that we all require regular food, and what I understand from that is that we need to be constantly aware of what we are doing to ourselves and our bodies by what we put into them. In this way all food has a medicinal affect. If we eat something that leaves our bodies sour and acidic, that can affect our digestive systems which in turn may cause changes to our body chemistry, which may affect our mind. In this way eating fast food meals can eventually lead to a Zinc deficiency and depression.
There is a great book that I came across once called "The Kitchen Shrink" and it talks about some of the brain and mental issues that can be caused by poor nutritional choices. Now it only covers some introductory basics but it does that well. Have a read. The website for it is http://www.nataliesavona.com/kitchenshrink.htm. There are a great many issues that we face as a society including lifestyle diseases that can be traced directly to our eating habits. Many mental health issues originally stem from deficiencies or are added to by our diet. Some of these include anxiety, stress, inability to concentrate, poor recall, depression. There are hundreds of others and many of them have a food component.
There are also many physical issues that are affected by nutrition. Many health professionals, myself included, are coming to the conclusion that apart from infectious diseases almost all other illnesses can be seen as symptoms of a poor diet and lifestyle choices. There is much current disagreement over this, but I believe that there is a growing body of evidence to support this perspective. Many people find this hard to deal with, especially when we consider the deaths of friends and loved ones who have died of things like cancer, circulatory diseases, coronary heart disease, stroke, and alzheimer's.
There is also strong evidence to argue that most of the issues facing our children come form those same dietary choices. As parents we often give into the urge to feed our children what is quick and easy. Sandwiches, sweets, and soft drinks. All of these things are starting to be implicated in behavioural disorders form obesity to ADHD, from bullying to depression. Many dieticians and nutritionist do not consider these to be anything other than symptoms of poor diet and do not call them diseases or illnesses. We often make poor choices based on our time and stress, little realizing that we are the ones causing the problems that our children face, by our poor food choices.
In effect we are the sum of all of our food choices over the past several days, months or years.
The second thing that I get from this quote is that we are all doctors and medicate ourselves everyday. Wether we want to be responsible for that or not, we choose our own levels of health. We choose to eat poorly or to overeat. We choose the hamburger over the salad. We allow our children's tantrums to dictate our food choices.
If we go back over the last hundred thousand years of our development and look at the foods that where available to us. And then compare that with the rise and fall of the incidence of illnesses and diseases we start to see a remarkable coincidence between our diets and our health. In times of plenty there is a growth of circulatory diseases. As we eat more grain there is a growth in autoimmune disorders. When we eat more salted and smoked food cancers rates rise. In fact some cancers seemed to have belonged to specific parts of the world. Areas that eat salted foods have high rates of stomach cancer. In areas where smoked fish is popular they have higher rates of mouth cancer.
All around the world we see this continuing correlation between diet and disease. When we start to look at people who have good health levels, low rates of illness and disease and long life we see the same patterns over and over again. Simple diets, mainly plant food, low energy intake, no refined foods, few sugars or starches in the diet.
In truth we are all doctors and everyday we choose how to treat our main patient, ourselves.
We can choose to learn about food and nutrition and treat ourselves to a long and healthy life or we can choose a short and unhealthy one.
As we can see, it is always someone's choice, ours!
Firstly; is that we all require regular food, and what I understand from that is that we need to be constantly aware of what we are doing to ourselves and our bodies by what we put into them. In this way all food has a medicinal affect. If we eat something that leaves our bodies sour and acidic, that can affect our digestive systems which in turn may cause changes to our body chemistry, which may affect our mind. In this way eating fast food meals can eventually lead to a Zinc deficiency and depression.
There is a great book that I came across once called "The Kitchen Shrink" and it talks about some of the brain and mental issues that can be caused by poor nutritional choices. Now it only covers some introductory basics but it does that well. Have a read. The website for it is http://www.nataliesavona.com/kitchenshrink.htm. There are a great many issues that we face as a society including lifestyle diseases that can be traced directly to our eating habits. Many mental health issues originally stem from deficiencies or are added to by our diet. Some of these include anxiety, stress, inability to concentrate, poor recall, depression. There are hundreds of others and many of them have a food component.
There are also many physical issues that are affected by nutrition. Many health professionals, myself included, are coming to the conclusion that apart from infectious diseases almost all other illnesses can be seen as symptoms of a poor diet and lifestyle choices. There is much current disagreement over this, but I believe that there is a growing body of evidence to support this perspective. Many people find this hard to deal with, especially when we consider the deaths of friends and loved ones who have died of things like cancer, circulatory diseases, coronary heart disease, stroke, and alzheimer's.
There is also strong evidence to argue that most of the issues facing our children come form those same dietary choices. As parents we often give into the urge to feed our children what is quick and easy. Sandwiches, sweets, and soft drinks. All of these things are starting to be implicated in behavioural disorders form obesity to ADHD, from bullying to depression. Many dieticians and nutritionist do not consider these to be anything other than symptoms of poor diet and do not call them diseases or illnesses. We often make poor choices based on our time and stress, little realizing that we are the ones causing the problems that our children face, by our poor food choices.
In effect we are the sum of all of our food choices over the past several days, months or years.
The second thing that I get from this quote is that we are all doctors and medicate ourselves everyday. Wether we want to be responsible for that or not, we choose our own levels of health. We choose to eat poorly or to overeat. We choose the hamburger over the salad. We allow our children's tantrums to dictate our food choices.
If we go back over the last hundred thousand years of our development and look at the foods that where available to us. And then compare that with the rise and fall of the incidence of illnesses and diseases we start to see a remarkable coincidence between our diets and our health. In times of plenty there is a growth of circulatory diseases. As we eat more grain there is a growth in autoimmune disorders. When we eat more salted and smoked food cancers rates rise. In fact some cancers seemed to have belonged to specific parts of the world. Areas that eat salted foods have high rates of stomach cancer. In areas where smoked fish is popular they have higher rates of mouth cancer.
All around the world we see this continuing correlation between diet and disease. When we start to look at people who have good health levels, low rates of illness and disease and long life we see the same patterns over and over again. Simple diets, mainly plant food, low energy intake, no refined foods, few sugars or starches in the diet.
In truth we are all doctors and everyday we choose how to treat our main patient, ourselves.
We can choose to learn about food and nutrition and treat ourselves to a long and healthy life or we can choose a short and unhealthy one.
As we can see, it is always someone's choice, ours!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
What I do?
I have been asked several times over the last few weeks about what I do. It is rather simple really. What I do is educate people in the health benefits of practicing gratitude and happiness.
For example, Your life exists at your point of focus. If you focus on illness, poverty, obstructions, problems, disease or financial issues then that is where your life is emergent.
This is true of all people in all places at all times. Having said that, I now need to continue with the mirror image. In the face of grinding poverty people can still have a joyous and fulfilling life. We often see smiles in refugee camps or small villages in India. Everywhere we look we will see people enduring the unendurable and proceeding through life with happiness and joy.
If you choose to focus on positive things, then that is where your life will emerge.
This is in no way a denial of the need to address the issues of life as they occur in our lives, but that we can condition and control our minds to see the positive aspects of all events.
There is an old Indian proverb about a boy and a wise man. The boy is given a horse for his fourteenth birthday, everyone is all excited and says what a wonderful thing this is, but the wise man’s answer is “We shall see.” One day while riding the boy is thrown from the horse and breaks his leg which does not heal well. Everybody says what a terrible thing this is that has happened to the boy, the wise man’s reply is, “we shall see.” Sometime later wa is declared in a distant land, all the young men in the village are conscripted and ride off to war. Only the young man with the damaged leg is left behind. Everyone gathers around him and says what a lucky young man he must be avoiding the war. The reply of the wise man is “…………….”
This proverb is a good demonstration of my point. It is very difficult if not impossible for us to know enough about future events and outcomes to judge what is good or bad. Hence all judgment of events is flawed and without integrity. The truth is that we choose how and when we respond to or what we think about events. Nelson Mandela, Mohandas Gandhi and Rosa Parks all simply acted with integrity as they saw it. All three changed the world. They could have believed that their beliefs could not make a difference. However they saw a different future to the one all others saw and they stood resolute in integrity with that future.
We can do the same. Perhaps not on as big a scale as these three , but we can choose health over illness, happiness over depression, joy over nihilism. We can choose to exist in a mindset of gratitude for the options and challenges that come our way. We can treat them as opportunities to express our highest self.
We can focus on being healthy and active, we can go and find an activity that we love and pursue it with joyful abandon. We can focus on being healthy and fit rather than focusing on our depression and weight. We can focus on the opportunity to make a difference to others. We can choose our own spirituality rather than what is wrong with the faiths of others. In short, we can be responsible for our own thoughts and cause for ourselves a life that expresses who we choose to be.
A friend once asked me why I get involved in all sorts of things that he considers brainwashing. He sees what I do as something weird and valueless. However while he works everyday and sees great value in showering everyday after work, he cannot see the value in washing off the accumulated depression and negativity that is so ubiquitous in our daily lives. He also cannot see that he lives depressed and miserable always focused on what is wrong with his job, family, government, country, world and religion. He spends most of his time moaning about opportunities missed because of someone else’s choices, but never sees the opportunities for a wonderful life that continually present themselves to him.
On the other hand I have a wonderful life, married to my girlfriend, doing what I love, sharing opportunities for a better lives with others and experiencing the profound privilege of watching new lives unfold for others.
I prefer the way of Ghandi. To live an exciting and joyful life full of opportunity and significance.
Come and join me.
Francis
For example, Your life exists at your point of focus. If you focus on illness, poverty, obstructions, problems, disease or financial issues then that is where your life is emergent.
This is true of all people in all places at all times. Having said that, I now need to continue with the mirror image. In the face of grinding poverty people can still have a joyous and fulfilling life. We often see smiles in refugee camps or small villages in India. Everywhere we look we will see people enduring the unendurable and proceeding through life with happiness and joy.
If you choose to focus on positive things, then that is where your life will emerge.
This is in no way a denial of the need to address the issues of life as they occur in our lives, but that we can condition and control our minds to see the positive aspects of all events.
There is an old Indian proverb about a boy and a wise man. The boy is given a horse for his fourteenth birthday, everyone is all excited and says what a wonderful thing this is, but the wise man’s answer is “We shall see.” One day while riding the boy is thrown from the horse and breaks his leg which does not heal well. Everybody says what a terrible thing this is that has happened to the boy, the wise man’s reply is, “we shall see.” Sometime later wa is declared in a distant land, all the young men in the village are conscripted and ride off to war. Only the young man with the damaged leg is left behind. Everyone gathers around him and says what a lucky young man he must be avoiding the war. The reply of the wise man is “…………….”
This proverb is a good demonstration of my point. It is very difficult if not impossible for us to know enough about future events and outcomes to judge what is good or bad. Hence all judgment of events is flawed and without integrity. The truth is that we choose how and when we respond to or what we think about events. Nelson Mandela, Mohandas Gandhi and Rosa Parks all simply acted with integrity as they saw it. All three changed the world. They could have believed that their beliefs could not make a difference. However they saw a different future to the one all others saw and they stood resolute in integrity with that future.
We can do the same. Perhaps not on as big a scale as these three , but we can choose health over illness, happiness over depression, joy over nihilism. We can choose to exist in a mindset of gratitude for the options and challenges that come our way. We can treat them as opportunities to express our highest self.
We can focus on being healthy and active, we can go and find an activity that we love and pursue it with joyful abandon. We can focus on being healthy and fit rather than focusing on our depression and weight. We can focus on the opportunity to make a difference to others. We can choose our own spirituality rather than what is wrong with the faiths of others. In short, we can be responsible for our own thoughts and cause for ourselves a life that expresses who we choose to be.
A friend once asked me why I get involved in all sorts of things that he considers brainwashing. He sees what I do as something weird and valueless. However while he works everyday and sees great value in showering everyday after work, he cannot see the value in washing off the accumulated depression and negativity that is so ubiquitous in our daily lives. He also cannot see that he lives depressed and miserable always focused on what is wrong with his job, family, government, country, world and religion. He spends most of his time moaning about opportunities missed because of someone else’s choices, but never sees the opportunities for a wonderful life that continually present themselves to him.
On the other hand I have a wonderful life, married to my girlfriend, doing what I love, sharing opportunities for a better lives with others and experiencing the profound privilege of watching new lives unfold for others.
I prefer the way of Ghandi. To live an exciting and joyful life full of opportunity and significance.
Come and join me.
Francis
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